Saying the "f" word at breakfast

Does your family say the "f" word at breakfast?

Breakfast at the Craigs!

It might not be what you think. I'll give you a couple of hints.

1. Do you have little boys at your breakfast table?

2. Have you ever been a little boy?

Suffice it to say that our family, with two little boys and a big boy, says the “f” word. Emily doesn’t like it, but she’s adjusted.

Fart.

But we do try and limit the impact and ubiquity of this word. There are certain places that it’s definitely okay – like the bathroom. I personally am comfortable with this word in most places in our home. The bedroom. My office. The living room. The closet. The hallway. The other closet. The entryway.

But, even I have to draw the line somewhere. That line for the “f” word is the kitchen. (While I seek to limit the presence of the word, I must confess that I don’t always limit the essence of the word.)

Elena can't say fart yet, but we're working on it!

We have two boys who are delighted with all things fart, poop, and bathroom. I remember as a kid, we had rules about what type of language and behavior was appropriate at the dinner table. There were even yellow cards and red cards (For real! We had printed cards on top of our fridge) for language/behavior fouls. A yellow card was for a single infringement and meant no dessert that night. A red card was for repeat offenders and meant a week without video games. It was a system I accepted as a kid and something I think is brilliant as a parent! Extra brilliance because my brother was the one that came up with the idea!

This morning at breakfast (mind you, Emily was still sleeping), Seth started singing a family favorite by Koo Koo Kangaroo: “Everybody Poops.” The chorus to this artistic gem goes like this:

“Everybody Poops (Poops!)

Everybody Poops (Poops!)

Everybody Poops, Eventually.”

I was taken into the sing and started to whistle along while cutting grapes. Then I stopped myself. Was I creating children who would break out into poop songs AT THE DINNER TABLE? Why, yes, I think I was. So I decided to take the poop out of it and replaced “poop” with a loud “MMMHMMMM”. Now the chorus goes like this:

“Everybody MMMHMMMM

Everybody MMMHMMMM

Everybody MMMHMMMM, Eventually.”

Disaster averted. We've even sang the song at dinner. Now we need to work on the "f" word...