Top 10 Books of 2021

I read 220 books in 2021. This is by far the most I’ve ever read in a year and to put it simply, I wouldn’t recommend it (I might write more about this later – it’s connected to reprioritizing parenting). However, reading that many books allowed me to both cover myriad topics as well as dive deep into a number of topics. Some of these deep dives include surveillance capitalism, minimalism, money and finance, Artic exploration and habits.

Below is my list of my favorite books of 2021, ranked with the rubric of both enjoyment and life impact. Each book on this list was both delightful to read (or listen to, as I mainly did audiobooks this year) and changed my life in one way or another. I would love to talk with you about any of these books or any of the deep dive topics I mentioned!

1. Essentialism by Greg McKeown

The disciplined pursuit of less helped me read less so I could be more present with my family. The less but better principle helped me say “no” to things that were not important so I could bring my full self to the table in the places where it matters the most. I loved this book so much I read it twice and might plan to read it every year. Not only was this fun to read – the writing is engaging and the stories both entertaining and impactful – it also served like a compass, helping me orient myself to the things that are most important.

In a year where it was easy for me to feel like I was drowning from all of the requirements of parenting and leadership in work, this book helped me identify some of the ways that I contributed to this sense of drowning. I was actively making choices that took my attention away from the small amount of things that really matter to me.

My top value is flourishing leadership – I long for this in myself and those I interact with on a regular basis. I deeply believe that everyone is created for impact and purpose, yet sometimes it can be hard to live fully into this. As a leader, friend and father, I want to draw out people’s natural genius and help them bring their best to the table. Essentialism was like rocket fuel to this fire and sent my mind spinning with ideas on how I can grow in flourishing leadership.

Greg McKeown knocked this out of the park. If you haven’t yet picked up a copy, I highly recommend it!

2. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman

The most pivotal changes in my life during 2021 centered around my parenting. I simply wasn’t the dad I wanted to be and the growing pressure of COVID restrictions were revealing more and more weaknesses. Add to that six months of terrible sleep thanks to night terrors and variations, and I found myself quick to anger, lacking in compassion and devoid of much love. Quite the opposite to the description of God in Psalm 103:8, “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.”

It was in this space that Gottman’s book appeared like a balm for my soul. I had also read about brain development for toddlers (No Drama Discipline) and had an idea of the needs of our smaller humans but Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children provided a guide for how to help our kids engage with life well. I would never speak to a colleague or friend the way I spoke to my children, yet it didn’t occur to me that I might be contributing to their behavior issues with my behavior.

One of the reasons I loved this book was that it invited me to be an emotions coach for my kids. I love coaching. I’ve thought a lot about coaching and get to do it a lot at work. And it never occurred to me to use those same skills with my children. Yet, when I can slow down, take some breaths myself, get below eye level with my kids and acknowledge their feelings and realities, amazing things happen. And it’s not too complicated (much like the GROW coaching model). I help them acknowledge reality, feel their feelings, and then help explore options to move forward.

Bedtime is no longer a battlefield strewn about with toothbrushes, diapers, and pajamas. Navigating transitions, while still hard, can be handled with a little more compassion and grace. Furthermore, this isn’t just better for the kids, it’s also much better for me. If you’re a parent, this would be my top book recommendation for you – definitely life changing and a resource I’ll use again and again.

3. The Age of Surveillance Capitalism by Shoshana Zuboff

This is a book you cannot un-read. The implications of Zuboff’s research and arguments are both profoundly shocking and deeply unsettling. I no longer engage with technology in the same way because of this book. This is another thick book, coming in at over 700 pages and 27 hours of listening. And it’s worth the deep dive.

Zuboff gives us a tour of the birth and emergence of surveillance capitalism, a term I never heard before. “I (Zuboff in this article) define surveillance capitalism as the unilateral claiming of private human experience as free raw material for translation into behavioral data.” We then learn how Google discovered this and turned it into massive profits and a whole new way of doing business. Surveillance capitalism is the reason that Google, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok are “free” for us to use. While we might not pay in currency, we pay in attention and in behavior modification.

One of the examples that stuck with me was Pokémon Go – an augmented reality game that could very literally modify behavior. Beyond the horror stories of people getting hurt while playing, the app (which lets you catch Pokémon that appear in different physical locations) has successfully changed and predicted people’s behavior. So, when Sprint stores become “gyms”, people start heading to more Sprint stores because of the game. And this is just one example.

This book also opened my eyes to the ubiquity of online advertising and how quickly I’ll receive ads based on Google searches I only just made. As someone who cares deeply about who I’m becoming and how I’m being formed as a human, being aware of these dynamics is important to me. I was previously unaware of the numerous ways these large technology companies were seeking to shape my life and behavior.

I’m glad that I can’t unread this book. I don’t want to. It’s healthy to be reminded of outside forces that are looking to influence my behavior and make sure I’m consciously engaged in a process to make choices that align with my faith and values. Surveillance Capitalism is a wakeup call on how challenging that process can be.

4. Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller

One of the most challenging circumstances of 2021 was our son Sean’s sleep struggles. For around six months he would wake numerous times most nights of the week and struggled to get back to sleep. At its worst, this involved night terrors and other episodes filled with screaming. It was like a waking nightmare where this precious boy seemed to have no escape. This on top of ongoing COVID realities proved to push me to my limits.

I am aware that I am someone who has not suffered a lot in my life. Opportunity structures have been in my favor throughout life, and I have been fortunate enough to not endure much personal tragedy. This has led to a weak theology of suffering and a weak practice of embracing sorrow and engaging in lament. Tim Keller’s book was a gift to me in this season.

Keller covers both a lot of theological and philosophical ground while keeping it approachable and practical. Furthermore, the good news of Jesus reverberates through every chapter as he reminds us to put our hope and trust in Jesus in all circumstances. He does all of this while holding the complexity and mystery of suffering, not dismissing pain, or minimizing suffering and neither offering trite responses to deep struggles.

I needed to be reminded of God’s faithfulness in a season where prayer seemed dry, and the darkness seemed normal. I needed to be reminded that Jesus is no stranger to suffering and He was with us through this nightmare. And I need to remain grounded in the hope of Jesus when Sean is sleeping better and when he is sleeping worse.

5. Endurance by Alfred Lansing

Much like a blast of icy winter air, this book was breathtaking. The first book I read on my own exploration of the Artic regions of our planet was Icebound, an Audible Daily Deal that captured my imagination. This was one of many Audible Daily Deals that sparked different paths of exploration. This was also true for minimalism and habits! I’m still a sucker for a good book deal – I just tend towards digital copies post Marie Kondo!

Endurance is the astonishing journey of Ernest Shackleton and his attempt to cross Antarctica by foot with his crew of 27 men in 1914. The book opens with a description of the ship Endurance being stuck, pressured, and eventually swallowed up by the ice. Lansing’s description is riveting, inviting the reader to join him in this tragic and seemingly deadly moment. What follows is tenacity, perseverance, ingenuity, and a will to live that stretches the imagination.

This book was a joy to listen to and kept me on the edge of my seat. Lansing also invites the reader to consider the character and choices of these men as their lives were on the line every day.

To Emily’s relief, my deep dive into Artic exploration has not led to direct impact. The more I read of these harsh climates and the amazing explorers who have traversed them, the more I am very comfortable to simply read about them. (But if someone bought me a ticket to run marathon in Antarctica I would take it!)

Nevertheless, the impact has come in the ways I think about leadership during this season of chaos, changing circumstances, and significant difficulties. Shackleton remained connected to his men throughout the entire ordeal – he was not a leader aloof from those he was leading. Secondly, he was able to gather perspectives from his team, while still holding the responsibility to make the final call on numerous occasions. Finally, he was someone with a deeply hopeful disposition. In moments of life and death, he communicated and led with hope, which perhaps was the single most contributing factor towards the survival of the entire crew.

And this is a season where we all need hope every day and leaders that provide this are a gift to us all.

6. The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Mari Kondo

This book was filled with joy! As someone who does everything with intensity, Marie’s voice when it came to minimalism was one that brought balance, delight, and purpose. When it came to life impact, this book drove significant life change for Emily and me. I read this book at the beginning of a weeklong vacation and by the end of the week we had donated or thrown out over 80 bags of clothes, books, toys and trash.

We had been wanting to do a deeper cleaning and organization of our apartment, but it seemed like any effort we made was never enough and lacked direction. The Kon Mari system provided clarity, direction, and guidance. The simple question, “Does this spark joy?” was life changing. Our closets were emptied of clothes we simply didn’t wear, and I found that there was no need to look for clothes anymore. We went through our kitchen, and I am no longer afraid of certain cupboards or shelves.

Elena helped us go through all our books (see photo above!), many of which we were able to give away. As someone who loves books, I was surprised by how easy this portion was. I think we went through hundreds of books in less than 3 hours. I found that removing a bookshelf from our living created a safer, bigger space for the kids to play. And in a one-bedroom apartment, every foot of floor space makes a big difference.

Emily and I both had powerful emotional moments as we went through thousands of papers. Emily woke up beaming the next morning, even though she was up until 3 or 4am because of the breakthrough that came with making it through all her papers. We also found that drinking bubble tea helped with the process!

We are not done tidying up and still need to work on our systems as more toys and papers seem to reproduce every day in our apartment. And we are finding greater contentment in the things we have and trying to help our kids practice the same. Thank you Marie Kondo!

7. Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin

One of the deep joys in my life is reading books with my dad and discussing the ideas together. We did this in college with AW Tozer’s Knowledge of the Holy and have continued to read different books together over the last decade. I count my relationship with my dad a deep gift and immeasurable blessing. Your Money or Your Life was a book indirectly recommended.

I saw this on his bookshelf and placed a hold on my library app for the audiobook. I was immediately captivated by the way Vicki Robin spoke about money. She calculates the value of each paycheck not simply by dollar amount, but on how life energy your work costs. How much time, travel and perhaps unseen costs come with your job and is it worth it? She walks through a nine-step process that asks probing questions around the idea of life energy. It was helpful for me to connect her language with my value of flourishing in life and leadership.

A few things became clear through this book. I love working with InterVarsity and am grateful to have deeply meaningful work with people I love. I’m glad to not read these books and dream about ways to stop working! Furthermore, this aligned with the minimalism books I was reading when it came to money – only spend money on what aligns with your values. I found myself doing much less online window shopping and being much more content with what I already have.

While I didn’t fully pursue her 9-step program, it did help me get a better sense of how our finances are working and how Emily and I can be more intentional with our spending, giving and saving. Out of the 19 money books I read, this was both my favorite and the one that set some context for the rest.

8. Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport

I have thoroughly enjoyed every Cal Newport book I’ve read. While Deep Work is still my favorite, Digital Minimalism has perhaps had a more practical impact on my everyday life. I read this book the same week Emily and I were “Marie Kondoing” our apartment it helped me simplify my digital life.

Newport recommends a digital detox – taking 30 days off from optional technology in your life. Afterwards, you slowly and intentionally reintroduce different technologies, but only in ways that you’re choosing and desire. This resonated deeply with me after my deep dive into surveillance capitalism: my eyes were open to the companies designing apps to continually keep my attention.

I didn’t try his 30-day detox, but I did remove my email apps from my phone and set up an e-mail responder on my personal e-mail. I started checking my e-mail once a week and only doing work on my computer. I would often pick up my phone, swipe around and realize I was doing this out of habit – even as my kids were right in front of me, jostling for attention.

Looking back over the past 11 months, I want to put some of these practices back into place. I’ve lost my discipline with e-mail and re-installed work apps now that I’m traveling around the city more. If you’re looking to re-imagine your engagement with technology, this book is a great place to start!

9. The Evangelicals by Frances Fitzgerald

Our family would listen to “Adventures in Odyssey” on our many long car trips and the storytelling was compelling. In fact, these stories were so good that my brothers and I would put our Gameboys down to listen – our sister Emily would put down her book (that difference is my main hypothesis of why she’s so brilliant! Books > Gameboy). I was unaware as a kid, and until this book, as an adult at all of the energy, money, and influence behind Focus on the Family (creators of Adventures in Odyssey) and other mega-influencers in the evangelical movement.

This book was a thorough and fairly reported adventure through evangelical history in America. I had heard about the Falwells, Pat Robertson, and the Religious Right before, but usually without context and as if their very names were toxic to say. FitzGerald starts back with Jonathan Edwards and provides context for this struggle for power and the complicated weaving together of faith, religion, and political pursuits over hundreds of years.

As a Christian leader, this book was an invitation to wisdom, humility, and a deeper dependance on Jesus. I can see within myself a temptation towards power and influence that corrupts: I don’t want that to go unchecked. And I believe that when people follow Jesus fully in communities, there is real power to see the world become more beautiful and peaceful for all.

10. Washington: A Life by Ron Chernow

I was turned onto reading about American history through some Brad Meltzer books (Lincoln Conspiracy being one of them) that read like action novels. I thought it would make sense to start at the beginning and Ron Chernow’s biography came highly recommended. This book was a commitment at 904 pages and over 40 hours for the audiobook and every minute was enjoyable.

I never particularly enjoyed history in school, yet this book opened my eyes to a broader perspective of America’s beginning as well as the themes that continue to run through our country today. I was specifically shocked and curious at the parallels of the tensions present in the beginning of our nation and how these same struggles are still at play today. I am grateful for Washington’s leadership; his wisdom, courage, and his ability to make decisions in light of the precedents they would set.